


Because We're Here

by sodium_amytal



Category: Rush (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, M/M, Porn with too much plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 08:15:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10272209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodium_amytal/pseuds/sodium_amytal
Summary: 1992. AU. After falling on hard times, Geddy moves into a Toronto trailer park and discovers his new neighbor is equal parts greasy and irresistibly cute.





	

Of all the trailer parks in all the towns in all the world, he walks into this one.

Okay, so Geddy's the one intruding here, but he's taking it as a personal slight that his neighbor across the street is the greasiest motherfucker seemingly intent on fulfilling every white trash stereotype known to man.

For those keeping score: he sits on his front lawn in a chair that looks like it might collapse under his weight. He watches a television propped on a stack of cement blocks while soaking his bare feet in a kiddie pool. He's usually drinking some sort of alcoholic beverage, with a cooler of more drinks not far from reach.

Did Geddy mention the shorts? Because the shorts absolutely need to be addressed.

The Canadian Redneck (which Geddy has taken to calling him, at least in his own head, since he doesn't know the guy's name) insists on wearing either cutoff jean shorts or outlandishly-patterned swim trunks, showcasing legs that remind Geddy of tree trunks. His blond hair hangs just past his shoulders, and he looks like a former model who's let himself go.

His smile, though. That's the one thing Geddy can't file away under "greasy as fuck," because when he smiles or laughs it's like the sky opens up and a ray of sunshine kisses the earth. Geddy hasn't been privy to an up-close smile from him yet (just glances from across the street when he laughs at something on TV), but if he does he thinks he might combust.

So Geddy keeps his distance.

* * *

The Earthshine Motor Court is where dreams go to die. At least that's the impression Geddy gets, because everyone here seems like a depressing son of a bitch, including Geddy himself. Hushed whispers of "he's living in Earthshine now," skitter between the freshly-glossed lips of recently-divorced Toronto women, because, yes, it's _that_ place. It is the inevitable destination of damaged, lonely men banished from their homes and resentful of the circumstances (usually an ex-wife) that brought them here.

Back when Geddy had been married, the Earthshine Motor Court was somewhat of a punchline between him and Nancy ("one of these days you'll end up in the trailer park!"), and now here he is, almost fifteen years later, as though she had seen the future in a carnival psychic's crystal ball.

Geddy knows his own sins, so no matter how cute the Canadian Redneck's smile might be, he must have pulled some shit to end up here. Maybe he's a chronic masturbator. Or can't keep his dick in his pants. Or can't get his dick up when the situation calls for it. It's gotta be something dick-related. Judging by the guy's flowing locks and doughy build, he must have turned heads back in the day. So a combination of erectile dysfunction and fading looks, then.

* * *

Geddy's formal introduction to Cute Redneck comes by way of making sure the latter hasn't drowned in the kiddie pool. Geddy peeked through the blinds and saw the guy lying there, and even though his face was clearly not submerged the pool, you can never be too careful in places like this.

"Please tell me you're not dead," Geddy says, nudging the guy with the toe of his red Converse sneaker. "I've only lived here a couple days. And I don't want a crime scene right across from my fucking trailer."

The guy groans and lazily throws an arm over his eyes to shield them from the sun. "Your mouth is too loud," he grumbles, sounding like he spent the night gargling asphalt. He clears his throat, rubs his face, and squints up at Geddy. His voice is softer this time; if Geddy were held at gunpoint he would admit that it's actually kind of nice. "Why are you wearing girl pants?"

In retrospect, Geddy's jeans do sort of look like they've been painted onto his legs. But that's neither here nor there, and Geddy absolutely notices the way the guy's eyes scan him up and down.

"Why are you lying passed out in an inflatable swimming pool?"

"Mistakes were made," the guy says, slowly pushing himself up. The water sloshes as he moves. From this vantage point, Geddy can see a slight bald spot forming on the top of Sunshine Boy's head towards the back of his skull. So another strike in the 'Why He's At Earthshine' column.

"Clearly, or you wouldn't be here."

His lips have a pouty, Elvis-like curl when he sneers good-naturedly at the jab. "Smart-ass."

It occurs to Geddy that this may not be the first time this has happened, since Geddy's the only person tending to the guy in broad daylight. This may be a thing that happens regularly, and the locals have learned to just ignore him.

Of course Geddy would attempt to befriend the most pathetic person here.

"So why are you here?" he asks Geddy. "What's your sob story?"

"I don't feel comfortable revealing that to someone who seems like the drunkest person in the whole park."

"Strong words coming from a guy wearing a Jack Daniel's t-shirt."

So Geddy's shirt has the whiskey label on the front. Big fucking deal. He's not the one lying ass-first in a kiddie pool on his front lawn. Why does this dude think he has any room to argue?

"Okay, Mr. Margaritaville," Geddy snaps. Cute Sunshine Smile is wearing a tie-dye Jimmy Buffett t-shirt that should exist nowhere save for the racks of cheesy souvenir shops.

Sunny Asshole (that's what Geddy's calling him until he learns his actual name) sighs like Geddy is the worst and pulls the wet t-shirt over his head. Geddy actually shouts, "No!", because he doesn't need to be exposed to this man's doughy, shirtless body, but it's too late, the shirt has been removed, and...

Geddy's moments of sexual discovery have always come as surprises. He learned he liked boys when, in the tenth grade, one of his brother's friends kissed him at a party. He learned he went for hard, muscled bodies when he found himself lusting after the guy on his street with a motorcycle and arms like coiled pythons. And now, he's discovering chubby guys with dark, wiry chest hair and goofy smiles really get him going.

This is not a realization he's particularly thrilled about, but none of them have really been worth cheering over, so why start now?

Geddy turns his entire body away in case his impending hard-on wants to introduce itself. "Put the shirt back on or we're not talking."

"Shit, you sound like my ex-wife." And there's that stupid, charming laugh of his. Geddy glances over his shoulder for a glimpse of that smile up close. It's pretty potent, and Geddy briefly considers punching himself in the cock so his erection doesn't get any bright ideas about popping up.

Geddy hears the sounds of shifting and soft splashing noises as God's Sunshine Fart stands up and wrings the water from his shirt. "So, since we're talking, I'm Alex."

Finally, a name.

"Geddy."

Alex snorts. "C'mon, be serious. You look ridiculous enough. At least give me a real name."

Geddy turns around to properly glare at him. "Anyone ever tell you you're an asshole?"

"My ex-wife. Constantly. You two would probably get along. Your hair's about the same length, and she'd just love those pants."

Geddy exhales a deep breath, his nostrils flaring, which he imagines makes him look like an angry cartoon bull. Alex is about as irritating as a bad rash, but Geddy's seen his fair share of cocky smirks, and this one is more on the joking side, like Geddy should know none of this is serious.

Except it is serious, because they're stuck here in this poverty-stricken hellhole, banished to live in double-wide homes, stripped of their pride and their families, their life savings lost to lawyers and settlements, their children torn between two parents but ultimately siding with Mom.

And this idiot doesn't even have the good sense to realize they're fucked.

"How can you make jokes?" Geddy asks. "Why aren't you miserable?"

Alex blinks, looking stunned by this sudden shift. His eyes are bright and blue, and Geddy surmises he hasn't lived here very long, because he doesn't look dead inside.

"I guess I got it out of my system," Alex says with a shrug.

Geddy scoffs and walks away.

* * *

"I think it's best for the firm if we let you go."

Geddy sat across from his brother Allan at the Weinrib and Brown Law Offices. Allan was sitting in his plush leather chair inside his spacious corner office. Papers were piled high on his desk, and he looked at Geddy with a detestable amount of pity.

"You're joking, right?" Geddy asked, barely concealing his anger, but Allan wasn't known for being a jokester.

Allan sighed and sat back in his chair, which creaked a little when he moved. He gave Geddy an apologetic expression behind his thick framed glasses. "This could blow up into a scandal that could hurt our reputation. It's nothing personal."

"Who's gonna know? Okay, there's you, but you're not gonna say anything about it." Geddy didn't think Nancy was malicious enough to come to his workplace and spread gossip, even if said gossip happened to be true.

"Geddy..." Allan pinched the bridge of his nose, like this conversation was giving him a headache.

"I'm your brother. C'mon. Cut me a little slack here."

"I worked hard to get here," Allan said, venom suddenly laced in his voice. "My name's on the letterhead! And I'm sure as hell not gonna let your poor judgment screw that up for me!"

Geddy seethed in silence. At least a fair amount of Allan's ire toward him was due to his unrequited crush on Nancy. Allan had been friends with Nancy's brother, Lindy, but Nancy ended up with Geddy, and the fact that Geddy destroyed his marriage and broke her heart had a hell of a lot to do with why Allan punished him here.

Or at least that's how Geddy rationalized it.

But Geddy saw no point in bringing that up. Allan would only deny it and find a way to make life worse for Geddy.

"You can't do this to me," Geddy pleaded, hoping to appeal to any sense of brotherly decency left inside of Allan. "I need this job. I can't pay alimony and child support and the mortgage on the house _and_ rent for an apartment!"

"You should have thought about that before you fucked your neighbor."

Geddy wanted to grab his chair and hurl it across the desk at Allan, but he knew his brother's acrimony was properly placed. And there was simply no way to justify what Geddy did.

"I've already lost my family," Geddy murmured, because the least Allan could do was let him keep his fucking job.

"My hands are tied," Allan told him, which Geddy immediately knew was a goddamn lie. "But maybe next time you won't stick your dick in someone else when you've suffered the consequences."

Geddy felt unfairly attacked with that 'next time' line, like Allan expected him to habitually cheat on his partners. If this shit was ingrained in Geddy, it wouldn't have sprung up after almost two decades of marriage. This was a hiccup in an otherwise stable union, and if Nancy could have just seen it as a cry for help instead of a betrayal, well, Geddy wouldn't have been here getting fucking fired.

Geddy stormed out of the office, slamming the door hard enough to make the hanging picture frames rattle on the other side.

* * *

Geddy's returning from what he hopes was a productive interview when he notices Alex's trailer has a few guests. Two boys: one teenager, one maybe twelve years old. They're lazing around in the front "lawn," the younger boy tossing a baseball to Alex, who's crouched like a catcher with an oversized baseball glove on one hand.

Geddy tries to sneak past them on his way to his own trailer, but since he lives across the street stealth isn't very feasible. Alex sees Geddy and stands up. "Hey, Ged!" he waves, like Geddy might be confused which overexcitable weirdo is calling him. "You wanna play?"

Geddy swings his hair back, folding his arms over his chest as he crosses the skinny dirt road separating their trailers. "You need at least seven people on the field. I only see three. Four at most."

"We're improvising," Alex says with a shrug.

"I'm playing all the bases," the older boy says. He's wearing an oversized t-shirt depicting a skeleton with a mohawk. As Geddy moves closer, he sees something familiar in the boy's face, and, holy fuck, these are Alex's kids? Geddy can't believe he didn't realize that sooner.

As though reading Geddy's mind, Alex says, "Ged, these are my boys: Justin, and Adrian." He indicates each one with his thumb. "Guys, this is my neighbor Geddy."

The boys wave and offer shy, awkward hellos. Geddy returns them, and, great, now he's sort of obligated to join in here, or else he'll look like a dick. "I guess I can play," he says, stepping into their little circle. "What position do you need?" He flashes a glance to Alex, daring him, teasing, before he can even stop himself. Because he'd be a liar if he said he never thought about bending the guy over at least once.

Alex looks momentarily flustered by the innuendo. He diverts his eyes to his kids. "What do you guys think?"

"I'm tired of pitching," Adrian says. "I wanna bat."

"Can you throw a ball?" Alex asks Geddy.

Geddy is so, so tempted to say something like 'I'm great with balls,' but there are children present, and even though they'd probably find it hilarious, Alex might not approve of some random stranger cracking off-color jokes to his kids.

Geddy just holds out his hand expectantly, and Alex places the ball in his open palm.

As they take their places on the makeshift field, Geddy looks around for where he's supposed to stand. There's an overturned apple carton he assumes is the mound. With a sigh, he steps up.

"Don't swing too hard," Alex tells Adrian, who's tapping the bat into the dirt. "Otherwise we'll lose the ball."

"I know," Adrian sighs in a way that hints they've had this discussion before.

Geddy's never actually played baseball, but he watches enough of it to have absorbed pitching and batting techniques through some sort of osmosis. He turns the ball over in his hands a few times, places his index and middle finger along the seams, and throws his pitch.

It's not a good pitch. For one, it's perfectly aligned with Adrian's swing, lacking any finesse to help it sink or curve over the plate. Second, it's slow enough that a twelve-year-old can hit it, but still fast enough to knock the wind out of Geddy when the ball punches into his middle. Geddy hears himself make an "oof" sound, and Alex barks out a surprised laugh.

"Sorry!" Adrian calls.

"Are you okay?" Alex asks through peals of laughter. He jogs up to the "mound" where Geddy's clutching his internal organs in a dramatic sort of way.

"I think I'm bleeding internally."

Alex scoffs like that's impossible. "Oh, hush, it wasn't that fast. Who do you think you are? Nolan Ryan?"

Geddy is intrigued and a little aroused that Alex knows who threw out the fastest recorded pitch in MLB history. Or maybe that's the only pitcher he could think of. Whatever. Witnessing Alex's amused grin up close has made him a little loopy. Alex's plush lips slide over perfect, blindingly white teeth, and his cheeks are round and cherubic when he smiles.

Geddy doesn't answer, so Alex pats him on the shoulder and turns to the boys. "Alright, guys, maybe we should do something that doesn't result in injuries. Lucky it was Geddy and not one of you, or your mom would never let me hear the end of it." He chuckles to himself.

The kids groan variations of, "Aw, Dad," and toss the equipment onto the thinning, sun-bleached grass.

"I'm fine, really," Geddy insists, because he doesn't want to spoil the fun by being a total wuss.

"No, it's for the best," Alex assures him. "Last time Justin knocked the ball through a car window. Man, that guy was pissed off."

"So what do you usually do for fun?"

"Dad plays guitar!" Adrian volunteers.

"Is he any good?" Geddy asks.

"He's the best!"

Alex blushes, rubbing the back of his neck, beneath his corn-blond hair. "I wouldn't go _that_ far..."

"Well, now you have to show us," Geddy says, egging Alex on. It's a sickness, the way he pushes at things he ought to leave alone. Maybe Allan was right, and Geddy is doomed to this cycle of poor choices and an incorrigible lust for things he can't have.

"Yeah, Dad," Justin chimes in. "Put your money where your mouth is."

"Me? You guys are the ones—!" Alex scoffs, light-hearted. "Alright. I'll play for you. _Jeez_." He turns and heads inside the trailer to fetch his guitar.

Geddy stands there in the front yard with Alex's sons, not really knowing what to say.

"Sorry I hit you," Adrian says, and to his credit he does sound genuinely apologetic.

Geddy smiles. "Don't worry about it. You're not half bad at the plate."

Adrian fidgets much the same way his father does when he's embarrassed. "Thanks."

"How long has your dad lived here?"

Adrian offers a shrug.

"About six months, I guess," Justin says.

"What do you guys think about that?" Geddy would rather die than have his own son visit him here, but maybe Julian wouldn't care.

More shrugs. "It sucks 'cause there's no Nintendo," Adrian says.

"And the bedroom's too small," Justin chimes in.

"But it's kinda fun. Like camping. And sometimes we go to Chuck E. Cheese. Or get comic books. But Dad doesn't have a lot of money, so we usually just stay here."

Geddy doesn't know how to pose his next question, but he doesn't need to, because the trailer door swings open, and Alex emerges with an acoustic guitar. He strums a D-A-G chord progression that hits Geddy like, well, music.

Adrian frowns. "Dad, you were s'posed to get the cool guitar."

"Not enough electric outlets, buddy," Alex says. "This'll have to do." He plucks out a gentle melody on the B and high E strings, occasionally picking at the G, working his way up the neck to end the riff in a flourish of chords.

"Play 'Free Bird,'" Geddy teases during a pause.

Alex huffs a laugh. "Someone tell you you were funny?"

"You laughed."

Alex doesn't argue the point, because he knows he's got nothing. He just keeps playing, the harmony of notes transporting Geddy to a tranquil Celtic garden, or something like that. Once a musician himself, Geddy wouldn't say Alex is breaking any new musical ground here; the song structure is pretty simple—save for the beginning—but something about the way he plays and the sounds he chooses to string together is, if Geddy can be overly dramatic, transcendent.

"You're pretty good," Geddy says.

Alex's smile brightens. "You really think so?"

"I don't say things just to hear myself talk." Geddy shifts the way he's standing, his hips tilting in a subtle flirtation.

"See, Dad? You're awesome," Adrian says.

Geddy nods in Alex's direction. "The critics have spoken."

Alex looks flustered, like he knows Geddy's wondering why he's living in a trailer park if he's so gosh-darned talented? "Well, I can't argue with that." He segues into another song, and Geddy watches Alex's fingers dance expertly over the strings. For the briefest moment, he imagines what those fingers might feel like against his skin, wrapped around his hips, pushed inside of him.

Later, the kids head inside the trailer to escape the sun and make lunch. Now that Geddy's got Alex alone, he can ask him questions and get to know this frustratingly attractive man. Alex lingers in the lawn chair, absentmindedly plucking at the guitar strings.

"So are you in a band?" Geddy starts.

"Not anymore," Alex says with rehearsed neutrality. "I mean, I used to be in and out a lot—of bands, but, um, I'm getting a little too old for that these days." He forces a laugh.

"You quit?"

"They did. Most of these bands are formed by college students—or drop-outs. They do a few gigs, and when they don't see immediate success they lose interest. I was kinda like that at first too, but I learned to stick with it. They don't. So they break up, and I join another band, and the cycle continues. I'd go solo, but I can't sing, and no one wants to see some old guy playing guitar by himself."

"I think we're the same age, so careful what you say," Geddy teases. He moves closer, scrutinizing Alex from behind his tinted lenses.

Maybe Geddy was too quick to judge. And he's a bit of a hypocrite, writing Alex off as a dumb slob but getting righteously indignant when someone judges him on first glance. Alex seems like a sweet guy, with a physique (and face) Geddy's learned he's really, really attracted to.

"I used to play," Geddy says. "Bass. But I was a musician too."

"Why'd you stop?"

"I didn't think it was a formidable career. Neither did my parents. My mother wanted me to be a lawyer, but I didn't have the patience. So I ended up as a paralegal at my brother's firm."

Alex focuses on Geddy's face. "Do you regret it?"

If Geddy had pursued music and actually broken through, he'd probably still have a job. "Sometimes." Before Alex can poke at that vague answer, Geddy asks, "How'd you end up here, Alex?" An erotic shiver jolts through him at the sound of Alex's name on his tongue.

Alex doesn't seem to notice. He shrugs and says, "Why do you think? I'm a pathetic, hopeless manchild." He's clearly repeating something that has been said to him, and an acute sadness grows in Geddy's chest.

"Your wife called you that?"

"Ex-wife," Alex reminds him. "But, y'know, it's not like she was wrong. If there's a manual for screwing up your life, I followed it to the letter." His pouty lips have an amused curl, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes.

"Maybe we read the same book. What happened to you?"

Alex plays with the guitar strings, like it's a nervous habit, a distraction technique. "For starters, I got married too young. I was a stupid, awkward kid, so when a girl paid attention to me, I lost myself in that. I dropped out of high school, 'cause I was convinced I was gonna make it as a rock star. Charlene and I got married when we were twenty, then Justin came along a few years later. I worked a crappy job with my dad—literally, he was a plumber—while I kept trying to juggle raising a kid and playing in a band."

Justin interrupts Alex's monologue. "Dad, can we have the TV?" He's standing in the doorway of the trailer, holding a plate of microwaved pizza rolls and a can of cola.

"Yeah, go ahead." Alex stands up and lets the boys commandeer the "living room." Justin rushes for the lawn chair, while Adrian, a little slower, sits on top of the cooler.

Alex turns to Geddy. "We can talk inside. If you want." He heads into the trailer, and Geddy follows him. "Leave the door open, but shut the screen so I can watch the kids." Geddy understands and does as he's told.

The inside of Alex's trailer looks like a small apartment. There's a living room crowded with a ratty couch and a worn leather La-Z-Boy recliner. Multiple guitar cases, amps, and distortion pedals are shoved into a corner. A small dining room and kitchen line the opposite wall, big enough that two people might actually fit in either space without feeling like sardines packed in a tin. On the right side is a small hallway leading to what Geddy assumes is the master bedroom. On the left, behind a partition of glass and shelving, lies what appears to be another living room, sliding glass doors to the back yard, and two more closed-off rooms.

It seems Alex has resigned himself to living here, preferring something spacious and comfortable during his extended trailer park tenure. Meanwhile, Geddy has chosen a trailer that's almost an RV, too small to facilitate comfortable habitation.

"Nice place," Geddy says, because he feels like he has to say something.

Alex encloses the guitar back into its case. "It's not what I'm used to, but it could be worse."

"You could be living in mine," Geddy chuckles.

Alex laughs, heading into the kitchen and opening the fridge. "You want a drink?"

Geddy joins him to see what's in the fridge. He recognizes a twelve-pack of store-brand soda, a six-pack of cheap beer with three bottles missing, and a jug of orange juice. "Well, if you're offering..."

Alex takes out two bottles of beer, hands one to Geddy, and they sit across from each other at the dining room table. The chairs are mismatched, Alex's seat better suited behind a computer desk, while the other two are more traditional dining fare. Alex pops off the bottle cap with the edge of the table and takes a long drink, then he wipes his mouth with his forearm, and it's one of the hottest yet greasiest things Geddy's ever seen.

Geddy tries to do that trick with the bottle cap, but he can't quite pull it off. Alex chuckles a cute sound and does it for him.

"Thanks," Geddy murmurs, chagrined at his ineptitude. "You were saying? About how you ended up here?"

"Oh, right. A series of poor life choices. I bounced around from one band to the next, worked shitty menial jobs so Charlene could go to business school. After she graduated, she started making a lot of money. I... didn't. And I think at first she was proud of that, but then it was just something else to resent me for." Alex turns his head to look out the screen door at his sons watching cartoons on the front lawn. "Adrian was an accident. That sounds like an awful thing to say, but we didn't really plan on having more kids. When she found out she was pregnant, I told Charlene it was her decision..."

"And she decided to go through with the pregnancy?" Fucking duh, Geddy, but he just wants to get Alex talking more.

"Yeah... I wouldn't change it. But I think I knew our marriage was like a ship with a leak, just taking on water faster and faster, and we had no idea how to fix it. So we thought having another kid would distract us from our problems. I know that's stupid _now_."

A smile quirks its way onto Geddy's mouth, almost without permission. "I know all about stupid life-altering decisions."

Alex pulls that conversational thread. "Yeah? What'd you do that's so awful?"

Geddy toys with the neck of his bottle. Should he lie? Should he tell the truth? Should he avoid the question altogether?

But Alex just bared his soul, so it would be a dick move for Geddy to refuse even a modicum of honesty.

"I cheated on my wife," Geddy says. The words come out like bullets, slicing through the air around them.

Alex's eyes widen. "Shit, you weren't kidding."

Geddy needs to say the rest. He needs to hear it out loud, to admit it to another person. He's been carrying it around like a lead weight chained to his ankle. He's not looking for forgiveness or absolution, just... understanding. Alex seems like he knows what it's like to fuck up your own life with no clear idea how you managed to do it so quickly.

"I cheated on her with our neighbor. A man."

Alex's jaw sort of drops. "Holy shit."

Geddy inhales a deep breath, combing his hair out of his face as he looks away. He's shaking a little in anticipation of Alex's reaction.

"Why did you—Were you just curious what it was like?"

That's not the response Geddy expected. He squirms in his seat, takes a long drink. "No. I knew. I just... I wanted things Nancy couldn't give me, things I didn't know how to ask for."

"He was your neighbor? And he didn't know you were married?"

"It was complicated."

"Math is complicated," Alex posits, his expression a cute sort-of grimace.

Geddy takes another breath to steel himself, decides to soldier on and spill his guts. "His name was Neil. We were good friends. He would bring his wife and daughter over 'cause we had a pool." Geddy smiles at the memory. "But when his wife died... He was in a bad place for a long time. I'd try to cheer him up, but sometimes there's nothing you can do. There was a period where he was really bitter and angry at the world, and I"—Geddy swallows—"I took advantage of that."

Alex is listening to this with the most tender look on his face, and Geddy wants to flinch away from it. He doesn't deserve this.

"We were at his house one night," Geddy continues. "His daughter was staying with her grandparents. Nancy was at work. Julian was at a friend's house. So it was just me and Neil. He was telling me how frustrated he was because he wanted to get laid, but he didn't want to go out on dates with women who would pity him for his tragedy. And he didn't like the idea of hiring a hooker. So I... volunteered."

Geddy shuts his eyes, agonized.

"Jokingly, at first, 'cause I didn't know if he was... But the way he looked at me..." The newly-sparked fire in Neil's eyes, how he'd looked straight through Geddy, as though knowing this was solely about carnal attraction. No one had ever looked at Geddy that way before, and he craved it.

"Look," Geddy sputters, "I was attracted to him. I'm not proud of it, but that's how it was. He didn't care that I was married. Or maybe he did, and helping destroy that made him feel better. And I didn't care either. I didn't love him, and maybe that's worse."

Alex takes a moment to absorb all this. "So it was just one time, or...?"

Geddy shakes his head. "It happened more than once. But Nancy found out. I don't know how. We were careful. But not careful enough, I guess. I don't think she was as angry about the cheating as she was that I betrayed her. So she divorced me, and here I am."

There's a long moment of silence, and Geddy wants to drown himself so it'll just _end_.

"Wow," Alex finally says. "That's... unfortunate. Did you guys have any kids?"

Geddy nods. "A twelve-year-old son. Julian. But I can't—I don't want him to see me like this."

"I was embarrassed at first too. But I'd rather my kids see me in a dump than not see me at all, y'know?" Alex takes a drink from his beer; Geddy is entranced by the way his throat moves when he swallows. Alex licks his lips—sweet Jesus—and continues: "And I think they would have gravitated toward Charlene more if I stayed out of the picture. I don't think you could do any harm bringing him here."

"I know I shouldn't shut him out, but I don't want—what if he sees this place and blames Nancy for putting me here?"

"Talk to him about it. Ask him how he's feeling. Y'know, dad stuff."

"My father passed away when I was Julian's age, so I'm making it up as I go along."

Alex's bright blue eyes widen. "Oh shit. I'm sorry to hear that."

Geddy accepts the condolences with a meager shrug.

"But go with your gut. If something feels right, that's probably the way to go. And, hey, maybe our kids could be friends! Adrian's about your son's age. They might get along. And that could be—I don't know what your experience was like, but when I was his age, having even just one friend was a life-saver."

Would it really be so bad to bring Julian here? Adrian and Justin seem to enjoy it, at least to some degree. And it's definitely not a good idea to stay away from Julian and further a rift between them. The kid's probably already confused and angry at his parents' sudden split; not seeing his father would be the opposite of helpful.

Geddy nods, slowly this time. "You're probably right."

Alex smiles, and up close it's almost paralyzing, and Geddy finds his thoughts drifting to dangerous places. Places that landed him in insurmountable trouble with Neil.

Best to stay away.

"I should probably go," Geddy says, sliding out of his seat. "Thanks for the beer." He digs into his pocket and slaps a twenty on the table. Alex stares at it as though it might spring to life.

"Uh, that's a pretty expensive beer."

Geddy pushes the bill towards Alex with his fingers. "Take your kids out tomorrow. Or buy them some comics. Whatever they want."

"Whoa." Alex's face flushes a tempting shade of red. "You don't have to—This is really generous—"

"It's called being neighborly," Geddy says with a smile. "Now shut up and take it."

Alex sits there dumbstruck as Geddy exits the trailer.

* * *

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Which is probably why Neil shows up at Earthshine on Sunday afternoon. Geddy heard the rumble of a motorcycle outside, recognized that sprightly, musical knock on the front door, but hadn't put two and two together until it was too late and he stood face-to-face with Neil.

Neil's wearing a leather jacket, ripped jeans, and a faded t-shirt reading 'New York' that he probably bought in a gift shop. To his credit, he looks as stunned as Geddy that he's here, like he didn't actually expect Geddy to open the door or even be on the other side of it.

Geddy wants to say something witty and cutting, something to encapsulate the bitterness brewing inside of him at a slow boil, but when he opens his mouth no words come out.

Neil holds up a hand, as though warding off any words Geddy might come up with. "I know you probably don't want to see me, and I certainly don't blame you. But I have a few things I'd like to say."

"Let me guess: 'fuck you, you're a selfish asshole, I hope you die'—"

"I want to apologize."

Geddy feels like he's been turned upside down and shaken. These words don't make sense coming from Neil.

Neil sees the confusion on Geddy's face and offers up a weak smile. "Can I come in?"

From Alex's trailer across the street, Geddy notices a curtain snap shut, as though someone was watching from inside.

Geddy figures all potential harm from letting Neil inside of him or his living quarters has already been done, so he steps aside and allows Neil entry. He casts a final glance at the window of Alex's trailer, sees the curtain flicker again, and makes his best scowly face, just in case Alex is still snooping.

Neil looks around at the sad state of Geddy's life, probably recognizing a few of the items Nancy let him keep from the old house.

"How'd you know I was here?" Geddy asks. Usually when you have a guest you offer them a drink, but when you're visited by the person who helped you burn your marriage to the ground you can probably afford to skip the niceties.

Neil takes a seat in the nearest chair. "Nancy told me."

Geddy makes a surprised noise that sounds like "Bwuuh?"

"Not immediately, of course. I had to beg and plead. And promise that I'd come here and tell you I found someone else. And his cock is bigger than yours."

Geddy makes a face. He hadn't thought the size of his dick played a big role in their relationship, considering Geddy was always the one getting fucked.

"None of that is true," Neil clarifies. "But it made Nancy feel better about telling me where you lived."

Geddy folds his arms over his chest, preferring to stand so he feels like he's towering over Neil. "You should have apologized to her. Not me. You didn't hurt me."

"I hurt a lot of people."

Geddy shakes his head. "I should be the one saying sorry. And I am. I took advantage of your grief and your anger, and I'll never forgive myself. It was a shitty thing to do. I'm just a shitty person." He holds up a hand to fend off any protestations Neil might make. "And don't argue with me. I know what I am, and I'm at peace with it."

"I knew you were married. I could have stopped you, but I didn't. Don't discount my culpability."

"You weren't thinking straight."

"Maybe I did a shitty thing, too. Did that ever occur to you? Pretending like I didn't do anything wrong because I was grieving is patronizing." Neil hangs his head, his voice softer now. "I wanted to apologize for my part in what we did. I'm truly sorry."

"I forgive you," Geddy says, because the way he sees it, he'd been the one to light the match; Neil just let it burn and consume everything.

Geddy blames himself anyway, and none of Neil's well-intentioned speeches can take that away from him.

"What were you gonna do if Nancy didn't tell you where I was?"

"I'd try Allan."

Geddy scoffs. "He'd be harder to crack than Nancy. He fired me, y'know."

Neil's eyes widen. "No."

Geddy shrugs like it's no big deal. "Figures. He was always ashamed of me. This just gave him a socially acceptable excuse."

Neil looks pained by this knowledge, like he expected Geddy to have maintained at least some shreds of dignity in the aftermath. He rakes a hand through his hair. "Shit, that isn't fair, Ged, you don't deserve—"

Geddy stops him right there. "Does Selena know?" Selena is Neil's fourteen-year-old daughter, who has hopefully remained blissfully ignorant to her father's indiscretions.

"I think she suspected something was going on, but..." Neil trails off with a shake of his head. "She never knew."

Geddy exhales a breath of relief he didn't know he'd been holding. Though there's a small part of him that resents Neil for escaping all of this unscathed; Neil didn't lose his family or his job or his self-respect. But maybe that's part of why Neil wants to apologize: a fucked-up type of survivor's guilt.

"I wish I loved you," Geddy says, knowing how deeply this admission will wound Neil, but being enough of a douchebag to say it anyway. "Maybe things would be... Maybe we'd be happy."

"Maybe. But I think we'd still find a way to be miserable. That's just who we are. Well, you, at least."

Ouch.

Geddy deserved that one.

Neil stands up, straightens his jacket. "I hope you can be happy one day, Geddy," he says, clapping a warm hand on Geddy's shoulder before slinking out the door. Geddy's insides shudder along with the rumble of Neil's motorcycle as he leaves.

* * *

"You're just incapable of being happy, aren't you?"

That's what Nancy said to him the night it all came crashing down, her meticulously-applied makeup smeared and mixed with her salty tears.

Was she right? A quick analysis would say yes, because Geddy had a nice, satisfying life in the suburbs with a wife way out of his league, a well-paying and respectable job, and a son who looked up to him, all of which he threw away for what? A couple nights of ass-play? He could have saved himself the trouble and just bought a goddamn vibrator. Which would have made for an interesting conversation if Nancy ever discovered it, but that conversation probably wouldn't have ended with her divorcing him.

These are the thoughts running through Geddy's mind later that evening as he's standing in front of the park's soda machine, caught in the entrancing buzz of its mechanisms. There are too many choices, he thinks, and he's suddenly stricken by indecision.

He's vaguely aware of footsteps crunching on the gravel path, but he doesn't care who's making them until a familiar voice says, "That guy who showed up... Was that Neil?"

Geddy looks at Alex's brightly curious face.

"Sorry, I was snooping," Alex adds with a friendly shrug.

Geddy steps aside so Alex can feed fifty cents into the machine. "Yeah, that was him."

"What'd he want?" Alex hits a button without looking, like he's done this many times before. An orange soda tumbles out, and Alex snatches it up, his eyes never leaving Geddy.

"He apologized..."

"Oh... Wow."

"Do you think I could ever be happy?" The question leaves Geddy's mouth with no warning or consent from his brain, and Alex looks momentarily stunned by it. "I mean, I thought I was, with Nancy, but I guess I wasn't. I must have wanted something else. But I don't know what it is."

Alex doesn't answer, but behind his eyes are a flurry of questions.

"I keep asking myself if Neil were a woman, would I have still cheated? And the worst part is I don't think I would have."

"So maybe you're just gay?" Alex suggests, like it's the most commonplace thing in the world.

"Do you really think it could be that easy?"

"Well, it doesn't have to be hard." Alex's heart-shaped mouth fights a smile, but he's not very good at it. Before Geddy can wonder if that was an innuendo, Alex adds, "Thanks for the money, by the way. The boys appreciated it. And, y'know, so did I."

"It's nothing."

"Do you think you might bring Julian around this weekend?"

"Actually... I was thinking about taking him for the week. It might be easier for Nancy. And Julian won't have as much time to be bored." Geddy huffs a weak laugh.

"That's good," Alex says with a hint of pride. "He needs you."

Geddy is mildly terrified he'll discover that Julian has sided with Nancy and no longer needs him. Or that his son has never needed him. What kind of father can Geddy be when he barely had one of his own?

"Well, we'll see about that," Geddy says lightly, answering both Alex's statement and his own internal question.

Alex bids him good luck and departs. Geddy watches him go for a while, feels himself unraveling.

* * *

Geddy wakes up hard and wanting from a dream where Alex had him on his knees. He could almost hear Alex's hot whispers at his ear, but the spell was broken, and Geddy's lying in his bed and grinding into the mattress until his hard-on goes away.

A series of unfortunate erections. That's his life now. That could be the title of his autobiography, in the event he makes enough calamitous decisions to garner fame.

Geddy groans into the pillow with relief and regret as he comes. He doesn't have very high hopes for today.

Around three in the afternoon, Geddy sits in his car outside Julian's school, waiting for him as kids drift out the front doors. His hands shake, his mouth suddenly dry. He can't bear the thought of seeing the disappointment on Julian's face, the resignation that he'll have to spend a whole week in his deadbeat dad's cramped trailer. Julian probably feels like he's being punished for something.

Geddy sinks in the seat a little, hoping to avoid the resentful glares of the other parents who have almost certainly heard about the cause of Geddy and Nancy's divorce. Nancy has most likely told the other mothers about her shitheel of a husband, how he'd been screwing around with another man, and they, of course, took her side in female solidarity. "You're too good for him," was probably said to Nancy, and Geddy can't deny the truth there.

"Dad?"

The back door opens, and Julian's standing there, tossing his backpack and a small Batman suitcase into the backseat. He looks happy to see Geddy.

"Hey. How was school?" Geddy tries to keep his voice from cracking. He doesn't succeed.

"Fine. Mom says you live in a trailer park now?" Julian climbs into the passenger seat.

"Yeah... But I thought you might like spending the week here instead of a whole weekend. You'll be at school most of the time, and then you'll have to do homework, so there's not a lot of time to sit around and be bored." Geddy tries to laugh it off, but it comes out as more of a whimper.

"So you're not mad at me?" Julian asks, like he's not sure he wants to know.

Geddy blinks, glancing over at Julian, as though reading his face will provide more clues as to how to answer that. "No, of course not. Why would you think I was mad?" He knows why as soon as the words leave his mouth, and hearing Julian say it aloud cleaves his heart in two.

"'Cause you stayed away. I thought you and Mom got divorced 'cause of me."

The broken thing in Geddy's chest cracks like a sheet of ice. "No, no, no way. What happened with me and your mom had nothing to do with you. And I'm sorry I didn't come visit or have you stay over 'til now. I just... thought you'd be embarrassed."

"Of you?"

"Of what my life is now. That I don't live with you and your mom anymore."

"Lots of kids in my class have parents who don't live together," Julian says, like he's trying to make a point. "And this kid Adrian's dad lives in a trailer park too. It's not that weird."

Geddy smiles and drives them home.

As they roll through the park, Julian looks intrigued by his surroundings, still young enough not to associate trailer parks with the poor and disaffected. And, sure, on the outside the Earthshine Motor Court doesn't look that bad, but it's the shattered lives inside of it that make it a tragic disaster.

When they get inside the trailer, Julian immediately runs toward the end to see the bedroom, curious what his sleeping situation will be for the next four days. There's a huge bed inside the bedroom, and two small bunk beds tucked into a side room.

"You have bunk beds? Awesome!"

* * *

The week goes by in a predictable, relaxed fashion. Julian doesn't seem bothered by his father's new living situation. Like Adrian before him, Julian thinks it's like camping, except with all the parts that suck cut out (being out in the middle of nowhere, bugs infesting your tent, the risk of bears or wild animals coming into your camp). He's brought his Game Boy along, so he doesn't even mind (or notice) Geddy doesn't have cable TV.

Nancy took care of the cooking when they were married, which means Geddy doesn't have much food a twelve-year-old would consider edible. He can't just let Julian subsist on grilled cheese sandwiches, macaroni, spaghetti, and pizza delivery, despite Julian having zero problems with that menu.

Alex has a charcoal grill in his front yard, though, and Geddy can at least cook a halfway decent burger. Does Alex still owe him a solid after Geddy gave him the twenty? Or did his dumb ass negate the whole favor by brushing it off when Alex thanked him?

After dropping Julian off at school on Thursday, Geddy gathers his courage and heads across the street to Alex's trailer. Alex's beat-up old Charger is parked out front, so Geddy's assuming he's home. He knocks on the front door, hears a series of faint grumbles and the sounds of objects toppling over. Then the door opens, and Alex is standing there in his pajamas (Geddy now knows Alex sleeps in a threadbare t-shirt and boxer shorts), his eyes half-lidded and five o'clock shadow sprouting across his chin and jaw.

Geddy tries to swallow but finds his mouth has gone dry.

Alex's bleary eyes brighten when he realizes it's Geddy standing at his door. "Hey! What's up?"

"Uh..." It's a struggle not to gawk at Alex, at the fine hairs dusting the top of his thighs, at the subtle shape of his body visible through the aged t-shirt, at the heart-like curve of his mouth. Fuck.

Geddy actually takes a moment to restart his brain and remember why he came here in the first place. "Can I borrow your grill for the night? I need to feed my kid something that isn't garbage."

"It's kind of finicky."

"What, like it's sentient? It won't let me use it?"

Alex laughs. "I was trying to find a polite way to say it's a broken piece of shit."

"You could'a said no."

"Then I'd look like an asshole." Alex scratches the back of his head, mussing his hair. His already messy sex hair. Geddy holds his breath, like that will stave off an erection. "Why don't you leave the cooking to me?"

"You don't really have to—I don't wanna be any trouble."

Alex gestures with a hand to the sad state of his front yard. "Look around. I'm not really doing anything lately."

"Don't you have a job?"

"I did, about a week ago. Then some shit happened, blah blah blah, company downsizing... You don't wanna hear the rest."

Geddy raises an eyebrow. "I'm not really doing anything lately."

Alex grins, as though he appreciates the echo. "You wanna come in?"

Why the hell not, Geddy thinks, and steps inside, like he's being guided by his terrible choices.

"Gimme a minute, okay?" Alex says before disappearing into the bathroom.

"Uh. Okay." Geddy shuts the door. He doubts Alex wants all the A/C leaving the trailer. He roams around the living room, looking at all the personal items on a nearby shelf. There are framed photos of the kids, of course, an older man and woman who are probably Alex's parents, and a picture of a younger, thinner Alex with a beautiful woman Geddy's assuming is Alex's ex-wife. Hot damn, Alex was always gorgeous, it seems.

Maybe Alex had a point about that whole gay thing. When Alex answered the door just moments ago, Geddy wanted to put his mouth on every single part of him. He's never felt that much attraction or hunger towards anyone before, not even Nancy. Was he attracted to her? On some level, yes. But he's always had a deeper, more raw attraction to men, and maybe he tried to bury that by being with Nancy, like he could erode away the gay with enough heterosexual experiences.

Clearly, that method didn't work.

Alex emerges, and if he thinks he's caught Geddy in the middle of something greasy he doesn't mention it. "So what were you gonna cook?"

"Oh, uh, just burgers or a steak. I'm not really... good with food."

"Okay, see, that's why you have to let me handle this," Alex says with a wide smile, dropping onto the couch. "I'm awesome in the kitchen."

"How come you never did anything with that?"

Alex makes a face like Geddy just blew his mind. "Because I'm an _idiot_! You're kind of a genius, Ged, do you know that?"

"Well, at least I can solve other peoples' problems."

Alex snaps his fingers and says, "Therapist! I mean, you could be one, not that you should see one."

"I think I should unfuck my own life before I try fixing anyone else's."

"Fair enough. But for what it's worth, I like talking to you."

"All we do is commiserate about our shitty lives."

"Aw, c'mon. We had some really great banter that first time," Alex points out.

"I kinda hated you at first sight," Geddy admits, since he thinks they're friends enough to laugh about it.

Indeed, Alex does. "What? Why?"

"You just looked like the most stereotypical greasy dude in a trailer park. And you seemed... happy. Like it didn't bother you. I was kind of jealous." And other feelings he's not going to mention unless Alex gives him the go-ahead.

"I'm diggin' the past tense."

Geddy drags a hand through his hair, hoping it might fall in front of his face like a curtain and hide any discoloration in his cheeks. Alex squirms, repositioning his legs and pulling a blanket off the arm of the couch and into his lap, like his legs are cold.

Or like he's hiding a boner.

"Obviously I don't hate you now," Geddy says, distracting himself from the temptation of looking at Alex's crotch. "You're just kind of frustrating."

"'Cause I'm optimistic?"

"Well, that, and the last time I had a cute neighbor I ruined my marriage."

Alex chuckles and blushes, glancing away, and it's the most innocent thing Geddy's ever seen. "Oh jeez, I haven't been cute since '83."

"You've still got it."

Another laugh, and Geddy is actually angry that Alex seems unaware of how attractive he is. Like no one's ever told him. "If that were true, I'd probably still be married. Maybe. I dunno. It couldn't have hurt."

Oh God, will Geddy have to lay it on the line here so Alex fucking gets it?

Of course he will. Nothing in his life has ever been easy. Why start now?

"Just 'cause she couldn't see it doesn't mean you're not still really hot."

"Oh, now I'm hot?" Alex grins; it's like staring into the goddamn sun, and Geddy wants to go blind. "What happened to cute?"

"One compliment and you're already smug?"

"I wanna see how far this goes."

"I think you already know."

"Ged, don't do this to me. I haven't been touched by another person in—fuck, I don't even remember how long. Don't build me up like this if you're not gonna deliver."

Geddy hears his heartbeat thumping in his brain. The world seems to stop in this crucial moment as a reaction burns hot and bright between them. The last time Geddy had sex with a neighbor his life was destroyed, but neither of them are married, and the kids are away, and it's a boring Thursday morning and it feels like this moment was made for them to carve out something meaningful inside it.

"Do you want—"

"Yes!" Alex interrupts. "I don't even care what the rest of that was. Please."

"You have to tell me what you want. I mean, you've never... been with a guy before, have you?"

Alex is already up off the couch and pulling Geddy toward the bedroom. "It can't be that different, right? And I've wanted to put my cock in you since we met."

A flurry of aroused emotions rise up in Geddy's belly, and he doesn't know what the fuck to do, like he's a confused virgin all over again. Alex lies back on the bed and brings Geddy with him. His nimble fingers help Geddy undress, and his touch is warm and alive on Geddy's skin, igniting nerve endings and kindling a fire he hasn't felt in ages.

It's different than the desire he felt with Neil, more than just the primitive need for selfish gratification. He wants this with Alex, not anyone else.

"This is so fucked," Geddy breathes, pulling Alex's t-shirt over his head and getting an eyeful. He dips down to mouth over Alex's chest, briefly tonguing a nipple before Alex groans and gently edges him away.

"Please, let me get inside you," Alex begs, blindly fumbling in the nightstand drawer for either a condom or lube. Or both. Whatever. Geddy's not picky.

Geddy strips Alex down, wriggles between his thighs and kisses the sensitive, plush skin there. Alex whines, his hips lurching forward, and he reaches between his legs with a slick palm and strokes his cock. Geddy watches, sort of entranced, and he'd be okay just observing while Alex jerks off, but he's been craving this too, so he straddles Alex's hips and sinks down.

"Oh fuck, I knew you'd be tight," Alex groans, clutching Geddy's trembling thighs as Geddy begins to move.

"Why's that?"

"'Cause you seem like a tight-ass control freak." Alex lifts his hips off the bed, as though trying to plunge deeper.

Geddy uses his foot dragging the floor as leverage to rock back and forth, up and down, endless combinations of movements that make both of them shiver and gasp. "Oh yeah?" Geddy asks, his nails scraping over Alex's stomach.

"You got on top." Alex huffs a breath and licks his lips. "Like you don't trust me to get you off." His hips jerk, crashing into Geddy's own, and Geddy makes a breathless noise, feels the hot bloom of pleasure twisting in his gut.

"I wanted to watch your face." The way Alex bites his lower lip when Geddy sinks on him, and the perfect shape of his lips curled around his moans are sights to behold.

"Perv," Alex says, his fingers pressing into Geddy's hips. "Is that what you like? Maybe I should jerk off for you sometime. Give you a little show."

Geddy's brain can't help but imagine that, and it's hotter than it has any right to be. "Shut up," he whines.

Alex glides a hand along Geddy's thigh, which is currently bouncing his weight on Alex's cock. "Did you do this for Neil?" he asks, his voice softly curious with an edge of teasing. "That's why he showed up the other day, isn't it? He got inside you and never wanted to leave."

Geddy whimpers and pushes his hair back so he can see Alex's stupid, smirking face. "Shut up," he warns again, teetering close to the edge. "Stop talking... I'm gonna..."

"Can I come in you? Charlene wouldn't let me... 'Cause when she did, she got pregnant. I wanna fill you up—"

Geddy buckles over Alex, squeaking out a noise and covering Alex's filthy mouth with his hands. "Shut up," he says again through raspy breaths. He feels pulled taut like a guitar string, the swell of need building and building until it's pressed against his chest from the inside.

Alex wiggles his tongue against Geddy's palms.

"Ugh!" Geddy jerks his hands away. "You're so disgusting. Why do I even like you?"

"'Cause I can do this." Alex clutches Geddy's ass, thrusting into him just right, and Geddy folds over him, gives himself over to it until he bursts apart in a flash of white. Euphoria shudders out of him, and he hears Alex groan a long noise as he comes warm and wet inside of him. It's dirty and hot and perfect, and Geddy wants to freeze this moment and live in it forever.

"Fuck," Geddy sighs, sort of sprawling over Alex as the quakes of his orgasm leave his limbs all rubbery and useless. He feels the slick slide of his own jizz between them and doesn't even care.

He expects Alex to say something smug, but Alex is suspiciously quiet, breathing softly into Geddy's hair and carefully exploring his body with his fingers. It's oddly tender, and Geddy's almost forgotten what that's like.

Sex wasn't like this with Neil. There were no gentle post-coital moments that could be mistaken for love or intimacy. But neither of them wanted that, if Geddy's honest with himself. Alex touches Geddy like he's something sacred. Fragile, even.

Geddy's not sure about the former, but he's definitely the latter.

"I can't believe that happened," Alex says after a minute or two, a soft laugh curled around his words.

"It's not like I haven't set a precedent of screwing my neighbors."

"I saw Neil, though. He was pretty ripped. I could see why you wanted him."

"And you can't see why I might want you?"

"Not a fuckin' clue."

Geddy wants to push himself up so he can see Alex's pretty face, but he's still sluggish. "Then you know how I'm feeling right now."

Alex scoffs like Geddy's being ridiculous. "You're a little hottie. And that whole uptight snobby act... Kinda makes a guy wanna bend you over and spank you a little."

"You're such a weirdo." Geddy laughs a muffled sound into Alex's shoulder. Alex brings Geddy's wrist to his mouth and kisses it with the faintest pressure, his mouth traveling along his arm. Geddy melts.

Alex doesn't kiss his mouth like Geddy hopes he might, but he comes close, pressing his lips to various vulnerable parts of Geddy's body: his shoulder, the throb of his pulse in his neck, the shallow dip where his bicep and forearm meet. Geddy thinks he ought to repay Alex's tenderness, but before he can say a word Alex says, "C'mere."

Geddy pushes up a bit and turns his face to Alex's own. Alex does that scrunchy smile thing, and he says, "No. Move." Then he grabs Geddy from under his thighs, lifting him up a little so Alex can scoot down the bed a bit, then Geddy's straddling Alex's face, and for a brief moment he thinks Alex wants him to jerk off on his face.

Which Geddy would totally be up for, but apparently that's not what Alex has in mind, because Geddy jumps at the hot slide of something wet and slippery inside of him, and, oh holy fuck, that's his tongue.

"Oh God," Geddy says, because Alex is the greasiest fucking person in the entire world. He shakes, grappling at the sheets for something to hold on to or else he'll fall off the earth. He can't even stop his hips from pushing into it a little, and Alex takes it with ease, his tongue licking him open.

Geddy doesn't have words anymore, just stunned little noises that Alex clearly likes, because he can feel the curve of his smile against his ass. No one has ever done this for Geddy before.

"Was one of your past jobs a porn star?" Geddy asks, his voice shaking with every flick of Alex's tongue.

Alex stops to murmur, "I just like watching you squirm," and Geddy feels it everywhere. Alex jabs in again, pulling a high-pitched noise out of Geddy. "And hearing you." He dives back in, and Geddy finds his hips moving again, while Alex holds him relatively still. Everything about this is awesome, Geddy thinks as he comes in one long pull that's almost painful, like a too-long stretch. His jizz ends up in Alex's hair, dripping down his face, and Alex laughs a muffled sound between Geddy's thighs.

"I could totally get used to this," Alex says, looking up at Geddy.

So could I, Geddy thinks.

"What? Getting jizzed on?"

"Good for the skin, right?" Alex chuckles. "No, that, and giving you orgasms." His tongue flicks out to catch a pearly bead sliding down his cheek. He can't reach it, so Geddy catches it on his thumb and guides it to Alex's lips. This shouldn't be a tender moment, but it feels like one, and something hitches in Geddy's chest.

"What's stopping you?" Geddy asks.

"I mean, do you really want... With me?"

"If I wasn't attracted to you, I wouldn't have picked sex positions where I have to look at you."

Alex laughs. "Point taken." He kisses and nips at the inside of Geddy's thighs, his lashes fluttering over the sensitive skin.

Geddy squirms, wriggles against Alex's mouth. "Clean yourself up," he says, combing his fingers through Alex's sticky fringe.

"Only if you come with me."

Geddy quirks an eyebrow.

"The shower's not big enough for two. But the tub is."


End file.
